Assumptions can be defined as imaginations that may be contrary to the facts. It is employed in every individuals mind at one time or the other, assumptions are mostly contrary to reality and rarely true, and this has largely affected relationships. Imagine, most breakups that has resulted in relationships are due to accusations of unfaithfulness by other partners, and most times pride, anger, lies blindfold them from seeing or accepting reality, that is why it is said that one should not make decisions when emotionally disturbed. Different factors cause assumptions and fuel it, -Lack of trust, Deception, Insufficient communication between partners, Anger, Jealousy, Lies etc Why not find out the real fact or verify the account of your partner concerning the issues, you do not know, you may be saving a beautiful relationship. Now, let us see, how can we get rid of or neutralize the effect of assumptions? Let us look at a story of a guy.
Andrea’s first love, fani, someone he can not joke with, this girl caused the major changes in his life- thought him how to love, he did not look at her social class, to him, love was real. ‘every of my time, even when am not in good terms with her, I would gladly accept to dedicate my life to her, don’t really care what any one had to say……..’,to andrea, his major challenge was brown, though brown was his friend, brown to him usually shows this extraordinary tenderness to fani that he himself was not comfortable with, and fani was receptive to this tenderness but not in love with brown, she sensed this uneasiness in andrea, and often times reassures him. ‘………but after escaping from that party my dad forced me to attend, and entering fani’s house at exactly past eight, knowing well that I was late for her birthday again, greeted her mum, and on heading to her room, cause I couldn’t find her any where else, I heard browm’s soft laughter, the door was left ajar, and looking in I found them holding hands, I had to leave immediately.’ Andrea broke up his relationship with Brown, stopped talking to fani for nearly two months, Fani’s increasing depression led to her mum’s intervention in the matter, hence, Andrea found out that Fani was sick that day and was worried that he wasn’t showing up, and brown had explained to them why he wasn’t going to be around, her mum had asked him and other friends to stay around and keep her occupied till he comes. Andrea later apologized.
This little example shows a minor effect of assumption- a break up, in other cases this problem had led to divorce, end of relationship, death, amongst others. How can we avoid assuming?
-Take some time away from the person to control your nerves, not to long to lose the relationship.
-Get information from right sources on what actually happened and led to the problem.
-Verify the information, and if your partner is innocent, remove pride and apologize.
-Avoid listening to some people, including friends, who tell you things not physically verifiable by you about your partner-Deception and Lies.
-Communicate effectively with your partner.
-Face the fact and nothing less.