Friday, January 29, 2016

You become what you think.

I am sure this saying is not new to us, "we are what we think or become what we think. I am going to confirm that. You see, what we dwell on most times, or our constant thoughts defines us. If you want to tell what you like most, do a recalling on your constant thoughts
 If you want or desire a change in your live, start from your thoughts, because, that is where our tomorrow is formed. If you are following closely,  I said something about imagination in one of my posts; it's usefulness,  it's effects,  etc. This is closely linked to it because your thoughts form your imaginations, and your imaginations make up mostly of your tomorrow.  Nevertheless,thoughts could be positive or negative, and often destroy you if you dwell on it from the negative side, and can help you, if it is positively charged. On the other hand, imaginations mostly are things you desire, but irrespective of that, they both tend to appear in or affect your future. They  do not just jumb into your future, you will go out and do those things you have been keeping in your mind for a long time or for a short time depending on what it is. Furthermore,  I will like to assure those who have dreams and lack the ability to achieve them or have weaknesses that hinders the accomplishment of those dream, that if they keep dwelling on that thoughts and dream, the likelihood of it appearing is high. So quit the thoughts that pictures you low, it is better to immediately start forming imaginations that pictures you high for you to escape that pit. You may ask why, the reason is, the moment you decide or call yourself a loser apart from others calling you that, and you picture yourself to be one, my dear, am sorry to tell you that you are one. But I  would  not like to call you that, and of course,  I know you do not want that, so change it now. It is one of the easiest thing to do in life, just sit down and control your world.
Do not think I am sounding unrealistic, because the reality is that, the designer and builder of your life is you. And you can also be it's destroyer. To build a house, you need several materials. You need to firstly lay the foundation,  your thoughts,  imaginations are your life's building outline and foundation,  if it is faulty, you will be faulty. After you have laid the foundation, which are dreams in form of imaginations,  you consciously or unconsciously go out to do whatever it takes to achieve it. So, your thoughts are a review of who you are, if one can cut open to see within the inside being of someone, and view his thoughts,  quickly, he or she can understand the kind of person he is. This thoughts,  are hidden inside of us, because it is what makes us, and those things that makes us come from within. Thoughts /Imaginations- words-
Actions-Our life as a whole.
So, do you want to make a change today? So that your live is exactly what you want it to be. I encourage you to do so. Just in case you need to contact me for help, get in touch with me through my email  Thank you.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

For rational decisions, Dating should not be a need, but a choice.


  Dating.  A need or a choice?
Today, I would like to talk about this important topic. You see, this should be understood. So we need to pay careful attention.  A need is more likely to be defined as a want that requires pressing attention,  on the other hand, a choice is a want that does not necessarily require immediate attention, as to like getting it immediately.  With choice, you are trusted to make a very good decision,  but sometimes,  needs can make you to take irrational decisions.  So in dating, or rather,  the best time, and condition to date is when it is up to us, and we know we are not under pressure.  Most women in their 30's tend to make irrational decisions on deciding their mate due to the fact that they are under pressure to get married. These pressure may come from friends,  family,  society, or even self imposed. In whatever conditions we find ourselves  we should be careful not to make decisions that affect our relationships when in need, because it will have a long lasting effect on us. Hence, even though we view dating as a need, it should not be viewed as a need but as a choice.

  Reasons why we should be seeing dating as a choice and not as a need is as follows :
-This Condition will give us the opportunity to really understand the different people we date, in order to know which is more suitable. 
-Due to the fact that we are not under pressure,  our decisions are mostly sensible. 
-We can see through to the future clearer concerning being with that person.
-During the process of dating, flaws can be seen and corrected. 
-The hidden true nature of a person will surface with time, and hence, likes and dislikes of a person will be known. 
- It helps reduce the chances of having to divorce. 

  There are other benefits of dating when it is based on choice than need. People tend to put on their best character outfit when meeting or dating, hence sufficient time should be given to discover that you maybe wrong about a person.  You may dislike this person, and with time find out he or she is just the best for you. So, in circumstances where time is not given the opportunity to play it's role in helping you with discoveries,  you end up getting those discoveries  through endurance in partnership with time later, but here you have to pay more for tutorials, just like late entry payment, you will be getting the consequences.  Everyone will agree with  me that it is good to know who you are getting together with, this is also a moral virtue. I have heard a story about a woman,  who through need, married a man because of financial help. In the process, she was killed accidentally by the man because  he did not want to raise her child which is not his child. She was killed, as she tried to prevent him from heating  her child like she also did, but one unfortunate day came, and she died in the process. The child, a girl ran away later, and when she grew,  she hated man. Before she settled with a man, a lot had to convince  her, which of course did not come easily.  

  Conclusively, we should date when we don't really need to. This is advisable so as to be able to avoid dating when we are in need of a mate, so we will  avoid choosing irrationally,  and regretting later. I say this because when in need, we take what ever comes our way. And our future will be built on faulty grounds. Have a happy  weekend. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Sex, the base of relationships?


Who said sex can fill the gaps that is needed in a relationship. Why confuse the function of sex in a relationship, it does not heal the wounds in relationships, it does not create real relationships, it does not keep a relationship,  it does not tell if someone is true to you. It only satisfies a need. I read a post by someone, she was asking if it was okay to have sex with her new boyfriend, cause, it is just fresh.  The truth of the matter is sex should be removed totally,  and replaced later after marriage. If you find yourself thinking, " this lady is not just serious ", then believe me, you are heading the wrong way in terms of maintaining your relationship. Love is not sex.

Lust is acting within you no matter how you want to paint it. Ask why relationships of the recent times often break even before they begin? The foundation is the problem. Believe me, when you think less of sex and more of the person as a personality to know, with time, you will find out why she acts the way she does, why he dislikes and likes this and that, what he's action will be on that issue, what her response will be, you see clearly to correct flaws of the other person and, you will be able to understand the in depth chains, pain, bitterness suppressing him or her. And as Time goes on, he or she won't be able to do without you. You will know the right time to approach,  what to present,  cause you're sure it will appeal, and what words to use in conversations and how to settle stormy times, this things you don't find them in having sex or when sex is set in fore front, don't ask any more why relationships break, why divorce is appealing now, why it is easy to recite the vows of marriage and kick it away weeks later with advancing kick styles. Yes I  say it is a recitation,because that is what the world want to turn it into.

When you jump the gun in relationships,  you will fall, because,  vital primary steps have been left out. And the consequences will surface.  I  am not saying all those who went through it rightly don't have problems,  but, they will know themselves too well to be able to settle it, unless pride sets in, or a deliberate want to end the relationship. We should think of what's going on in the relationships of the recent year, sex, been one of the factors of its fall, should be looked at closely. In this medium, a lady or a guy could boost of having 15 girlfriends or 10 boyfriends in a year, well, that is as a result of not being serious to look for the answers to true love, and playfully,  this has extended into the marriage life, where couples divorce,  re- marry and re-marry and goes on, till he begins to boost about it. Have we lost it? No, the truth is till within us. Both with too much beclouding the reasoning of people,  patterns, way of life, they may not get it . wouldn't want a situation where by a marriage that lasts up to three years will get unbelievable glare from people. Let us do things right to get the right result. Not putting lust in first and expecting to find love in the air. 

Conclusively,  ask yourself the question,  do you really want a long lasting relationship. Even if it is hard, you have to avoid setting sex at the fore front. Do not replace love to be sex. You may even get tired of it later in marriage, as I have heard some say. Once again, love is not sex.

Love yourself for who you are.

Love yourself for who you are.
 why do you allow your thoughts limit you. Most people are the real enemies of themselves,  even when there have all it takes or the medium through which they can get to have what it takes comes their way, they here this little voice within them say," you see this? I can't do it. Believe me friend, even if you were made to solve that problem,  the person may even die without solving it. To be who you are meant to be,  you must love yourself first, not an enemy instead, by discouraging yourself,  you are becoming an enemy to yourself.  Who are those people that you see and get shy? They did not give you your actual potential,  infact, you are there for them, so that they can be blessed from what you can offer. Try speaking up even when you are afraid,  if fear arises and you know what you have to say is essential,  first convince yourself  to be able to recover your confidence before you can stand to convince others boldly. If you love yourself for who you are,  you will love what your being produces,  correct the areas you have flaws, practice to be perfect ,even if you are so lazy and know that you would advise a friend in your shoes to be determined,  of course you will quit been lazy if you love yourself,  and you will give yourself the opportunity to be a great person by opening up your views in matters, even if your audience  views your comments as nonsense,  with time, they will know your worth.
What emanates from the inside often times dominates, or creates what becomes on the outside.  Have you been called things you are not? Underestimated?  Laugh it all out,  because,  were you are is as a result of what you wanted yourself. See, no one has the capacity to position you, unless you allow it. What you call yourself is what you are, if you have not seen yourself were you want, check out, you're the cause,  not that person. Love yourself,  believe in yourself,  create your world, I mean,  create what you want with your imaginations, and work towards,  as I have said before,  the imagination of the heart, which consists of what are in your mind, are the bedrock of things that exist. Creators,  from big to small ones made use of imaginations to determine what they want and how they want it. Never settle for less than you want. 
Tips on how to love yourself more, and be yourself are as follows :
-Remember,  to succeed in life, there are qualities you need,  have the spirit of determination, please, focus on your inward gifts, potentials.
-Believe in those potentials
-Air your potential, use them for humanity 
-Improve them
-Do not keep negative companies,  so as to grow 
-work  hard to improve your potentials
-Lift other people as you go on in live.
In terms of relationship,  be with whom you love. Do not compromise,  do not settle for less than love, no matter the circumstances.  Hence, even in pain, hardship, you will happy, and that shows you love yourself indeed.
In education,  if you are not okay with your grade, if you love yourself,  you will move with the right company,  do the right things to improve, those that hate themselves unknowing to them let bad names be attached to them without bothering about.  You won't want that for someone else, then don't take it, don't be the Enemy of yourself. 
Finanlly,to love yourself is the number one factor that will determine if you will in the future be okay, or be happy, or be fulfilled.  It could be tiring, hard to the core, even risky in some situations,  but to be truly who you want to be, Love yourself. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

The Enemy Is From The Inside.
In most relationships, bonds suffer due to regular pattern of allowing  emotions control our daily lives. Emotions are made to create,  not to destroy,  but it destroys when it is not properly managed in adverse conditions. Misunderstanding,  that needs the medication of patience that will be accessed in minutes unknowingly to the client, will be the reason for a total fall of a beautiful relationship. When we don't control the thoughts,  words, actions,circumstances plus false reality of things create by your assuptions, we let our inside destroy the relationships we hold dear. Take your time to check yourself and make the necessary corrections. See you happier.